May 09, 2010

Mother's Day Facts

I have been a mother for exactly 3 years, 3 months and one day.
Essentially, this means:

I have a brain so I can think about the kids.
I have a mouth so I can communicate with the kids.
I have a nose so I can smell when the kids need a clean diaper.
I have ears so I can hear when the kids are crying.
I have eyes so I can see when the kids are doing something they shouldn't be doing.
I have a lap so the kids have a place to sit down.
I have legs so I can run after the kids.
I have arms so I can carry the kids when they've fallen asleep.

What do I have over 5,000 pictures of on my computer?
The kids.
What's the last thing I hear at night?
The kids.
What's the first thing I hear in the morning?
The kids.
Who do I talk to every day?
The kids.
What do I talk about every day?
The kids.
What do my husband and I talk about?
The kids.
What do I talk to perfect strangers about?
The kids.

What is my floor ridden with?
Kids' toys.
What do I kill my back picking up every day?
Kids' toys.
What do I tend to find buried in the sandbox?
Kids' toys.
What do I regularly trip over?
Kids' toys.
What do I secretly wish I had more of?
Kids' toys.

What is my business all about?
Kids' clothes.
What do I spend every day thinking about?
Kids' clothes.
What am I constantly washing pee stains out of?
Kids' clothes.
What am I regularly wiping snot off of?
Kids' clothes.
What is always full of sand, dirt, pine needles and dead flowers?
Kids' clothes.
What is the laundry hamper incessantly full of?
Kids' clothes.

What am I most proud of?
My kids.
What makes me laugh so hard I often pee myself?
My kids.
What moves me?
My kids.
What inspires me?
My kids.
What do I love more than anything?
My kids.
What makes me feel loved more than anything?
My kids.

And that's a fact.

6 comments:

  1. ummmm so, just to be sure, we were talking about Children and not Goats right???BWWHHAAAHAAAHHHAAA! Seriously, read that back to yourself but instead of kids think goats and this is the funniest post i have read! I'm just saying...
    Happy Mo Day to you! You work hard and seeing as you live for your Children, you are a great mom!
    Beschmorganitis to you my friend (interepretable word i just made up).
    xo

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  2. Who can drive me to distraction and despair? My kids. Still love them, though, and am glad I get to watch them adultify.

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  3. Yes, dear Mama, what a life it is!!

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  4. @Trish - lmao! I love the way your brain works!!! Sending tons of virtual beschmorganitis your way...xxx
    @Steph - it is the best, isn't it! And, did you take my advice and start a blog?! Yeehaw honey!
    @Clea - too true. The other day we were pracitising the letter 'L' with Mia, and I told her mama's name started with an 'L', and she refused to believe me. I am mama, mama is me...

    I taught Mia how to say 'mama rocks' to total strangers. That made me feel good.

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  5. How true! LOL! But you sure do have some cuties!

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  6. @LIM - why thankyou! Yup, even when she's picking her nose, Mia is adorable...

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