New Year's Revelations

Today is the first day of 2011, my 5th year of being a Mom. Instead of New Year's resolutions, I've been making some New Year's revelations today. Another year has passed and as I surrender myself to Mommyhood entirely, I realize a few things about how my life is now, as opposed to how it was. We're talking about slight differences, but fundamental ones, which establish my role in life once and for all.

The tell-tale signs that I need to get out more:

All my clothes have drool/snot/peanut butter stains on them, and I don't even care.

My Facebook updates are usually about what the kids are doing, or what they just did.

I don't know what's going on in the world, but I sure as heck know all the words to all the 'Dora the Explorer' songs.

I'm seriously considering getting my first name legally changed to 'Mama'.

I'm more worried about whether there's enough tape in the craft drawer than about the state of the present government.

I get genuinely excited when some of my son's pee actually makes it into the potty.

My bedtime is exactly five minutes after my kids' bedtime.

I find myself coloring when the kids aren't even around.

A good night's sleep is something I actually fantasize about.

Playing dress-up with the kids was in fact the last time I actually dressed up.

My idea of 'me-time' is going to the bathroom on my own.

I actually considered writing Santa a letter this year too.

I find myself enjoying food much more if it has a face on it.

My friends have literally said to me, 'You need to get out more'.


But the biggest revelation I made today is this: I am a Mom. And I love being a Mom. I wouldn't trade being a Mom for anything - not fame, not a zillion dollars, not even a good night's sleep. If I can't sing on stage, I might as well sing along with Dora. And if I don't know what's going on in the world, at least I know what's going on in my kids' world, which is the most important world to me after all.

'Me Time'

I love my kids. I love them with every inch of my soul, every drop of my existence. They are my inspiration, my reason for being. But I also love dropping them off at pre-school and leaving them there for a few hours, because that's when I get some well-earned 'me time'.

'Me time'. I never seemed to need it before I had kids. Back then, it was 'me time' all the time. I had so much 'me time', I didn't know what to do with it. Frankly, I was bored of it. I was with myself all the time, why should I spend extra time with myself?  And when my husband and I were together without kids, we not only had an abundance of 'me time' for ourselves separately, we also had an excess of 'us time'. At one point, we were sick of the sight of each other, we had so much 'us time'.

Now, things are different. 'Me time' is valuable commodity around here. Especially since the kids don't take 3-hour naps anymore in the afternoons. My husband and I battle for 'me time' regularly. Sometimes I will use going to the bathroom as an excuse to get an extra bit of 'me time', when it isn't actually my turn. And I'm convinced my husband will sometimes invent a chore that needs to be done outside in order to steal a bit of 'me time' for himself.

And when I finally do get those few precious hours of 'me time', I blow them. I vacuum, wash dishes, do the laundry, work on mialeentje marketing. 'Me time' isn't supposed to be wasted on household chores and work, is it? 'Me time', I'm sure, is for having a massage or a facial, enjoying fresh flowers, having a laugh, catching up on fashion trends in the latest issue of Elle, that kind of thing.

The thing is, though, that I get all that stuff during my non 'me time', with my kids I mean.
Having a massage, for example: If I should lie down anywhere, the kids see that as an invitation to jump on my back, which is better than any Thai massage you could pay any amount of money for.
As far as a facial goes: having kids pretty much means going around without make-up on anyway, so my face is in such good condition lately, I don't even need one!
As for fresh flowers: My daughter Mia can find a flower within seconds of being outside, with which she'll decorate the house and herself. So I am pretty much surrounded by fresh flowers, even if they are in the form of weeds, every day.
And catching up on fashion trends? To be honest, I never really paid any attention to trends anyway. I prefer to make up my own, and watch what Mia is doing. She is my trend guru when it comes to gathering inspiration for mialeentje.

Come to think of it, who says 'me time' has to be when you're by yourself? I tend to find lots of 'me time' opportunities throughout the day, like when the kids are busy playing in the dirt or when my husband is venting his frustrations about lousy drivers. For a moment, I can enjoy the sound of a breeze rustling the leaves or a particularly pretty birdsong and recharge my batteries until one of the kids get a dirt clot in its eye or my husband realizes I'm only half listening to him. So it was just a few seconds of 'me time', but a valuable few seconds nonetheless!

So, as it turns out, I actually get plenty of 'me time' satisfaction when it's not officially 'me time' at all! I guess I should re-define what I understand to be 'me time'. It's a time to rest, to think, to ponder, to dive into the lake of me... make that a dip my toes in the shallow end of the lake of me (a dive would simply take too long to manage in the few hours the kids are away). No, real deep self-exploration and peace of mind can only be achieved during an extended period of time of 7-9 hours, and the only time I can manage that is when I'm asleep. I guess I'll just have to rely on my subconscious to ensure I get the 'me time' I'm entitled to...